1 simply happy.

The other day I found myself waking up to birds chirping outside our open window, and hearing the roasters in the distance. I smiled to myself as I watched Coco sleeping silently next to me. That was the moment. The special moment that I realized how happy I am. 

Last year I woke up around 5:50 a.m. and I would get ready for work and hit the bus at 6:30 a.m. I would stay on the bus until 8:20 a.m. and it would drop me off at the Ala Moana mall. I would walk a few blocks and go up 14 floors of a building to start my morning working as a dental assistant. I then would work from 8:30-5:00 p.m. (without a lunch some days) and hurry out to the bus at 5:20 p.m. and be on it until 8:00 p.m. I would walk home and be welcomed by a very tired Coco doing his homework. I would fix dinner and then we would go to sleep. 

I did this all week long until I told my boss it was too hard on me and I lowered it to only working 3 days a week. Which was a huge blessing! I remember feeling so blessed that he allowed me to do so. I then started to work at the Laie Hawaii Temple every Thursday afternoon from 11:00 a.m. to 5:00 p.m. as a ordinance worker. I heard they needed help at the temple and my wonderful bishop recommended me to work there. I remember the inspiration I got, and peace I received as I went there weekly to work. On Fridays and Saturdays I would play clean up around our house and grocery shop and would fill any extra time at the beach. I felt blessed to be living in Hawaii, but I would openly admit it was a lot harder than I thought adjusting our new lives in Hawaii. I felt like I had no time to breath during my week, and I would come home stressed and tired from work. The longer I worked in town, the more I knew I wanted to quit. I tried to quit several times, but my boss would always offer me something more to keep me on. I knew the Lord was blessing us financially with my job so I continued to trek on with even though I felt like I wanted more time to myself and with Coco.  And I was sad that I hadn't really met any new friends around town.

Then April came around. One night Coco was talking to me about what one of our friends did as a  job. He talked to me about summer security sales and how cool it would be to go sell. Coco and I had talked about summer security sales before, but it never seemed incising to us before. As he was talking to me a thought came into my head...."We should go with them this summer.".....I looked at Coco and said that we should give it a try. I will never forget his face as he said..."Really? I was thinking the same thing."... We both sat there and smiled at each other remembering that we both said we would never want to do summer security sales (Coco had many offers to do them before), but suddenly we both felt prompted to go. We talked to our friend, and we were set to head out in less than 3 weeks. I hurried and arranged someone to take over our apartment and car while we were gone in the summer (which was another miracle, and story for a different day) and we bought our ticket to fly home and then drive out to New Orleans, Louisiana. 

We had a blast the whole summer! We loved traveling across the country, and we felt so blessed to have such great new friends along the journey. It was also so refreshing quitting my job in Hawaii and coming home to see family. I usually am so worried about that kind of stuff, I always have a plan, and I never quit something without knowing I have something else to back me up. But this time it felt different. I didn't know how well we would do. I knew we had never gone out to do summer sales, I knew it would be difficult for Coco, but I just knew it was something we were suppose to do. The Lord helped us the whole time. We had so much fun exploring each new state. New Orleans was a bit of a shocker at first, but I grew to really enjoy the city. 

We headed back to Utah the end of Aug. and stayed a few weeks before we headed back out to Hawaii. I remember the whole flight home I kept catching my thoughts wondering into nervous fears of the unknown. Hawaii felt like our home just because all of our stuff was there, but not because we loved it more than Utah. We only felt settled there, but it wasn't quite our home yet. So I found myself getting scared to return and not know what I would do while Coco went back to school and golf.  I just brushed the negative thoughts out of my head and told myself that everything would be okay.

Then, moving forward that special moment came. I found myself laying in bed next to Coco, watching the sun shine through our windows, hearing the birds chirping outside our window and the roasters in the distance. That special moment I realized that everything had worked out this time around. I have an awesome job at the Polynesian Cultural Center. I work at a very fun restaurant called Kahuku Grill with fun people. I have been blessed to be welcomed back by the Laie Temple President to work there every wednesday night, and I find myself having A LOT more free time on my hands. It seems like every face on the streets are familiar now. I can ride my bike to the store and see someone I know that wave at me and and shout... HOWZIT?! 

That moment I realized how much the Lord has guided me in my life. Looking back at how last year was and then looking at how this year is just amazes me. Coco and I have changed so much in this past year and a half of being married. I thought I was happy last year, but now I know how happy I am now and it doesn't even compare. It's not the fake happy, which I can see that I was before. I would hide a lot of my emotions in until I broke down to my mom on the phone every chance I could get. I would find myself leaving church on sundays because I didn't want to cry in front of others when their families would visit and I was so homesick for mine. 

This year this island feels like our actual home. Just being here for this past month I feel more settled than anytime I've ever felt in our marriage. Maybe it was all the traveling we did in the summer, and living out of our suitcases for weeks at a time. Maybe it was being able to go home for a month and realizing that I really am not missing out on much. Maybe it is the fact that my job(s) are closer to our home. Maybe it's just growing and maturing. Maybe it is the fact that we got over our first year of marriage struggles. Maybe it's a mixture of all of those. But whatever it was, the Lord knew I needed it to feel better.

All I know is in that special moment, laying in our bed watching Coco sleep, I found myself smiling because I am happy. I'm simply happy. I've learned that the littlest prompting can turn into biggest decisions in your life. I've learned that I'm maturing in a way I never thought I would. I'm so grateful I have overcome my fears of moving from home, and have found peace in my being here with Coco. With my little family. It's the little things in life that keep you happy. You just have to take the little moments to realize them.... like the special moment of waking up and laying in bed watching your loved one sleeping while the sea salt breeze flows through your windows and the birds sing happily outside your window.